Car owners are rejoicing as officials begin planning for the first-annual “Car Stars,” an event where an entire stretch of road will be closed off to pedestrians and anything not traveling in at least a four-wheeled vehicle.
Where the street normally hosts a lively mix of cyclists, pedestrians, and traffic, car owners will have the rare opportunity to enjoy a space exclusively dedicated to vehicles. This is a noteworthy event, given that cars continue to compete for the little space they have on roads already crowded with pedestrians.
“It’ll be so refreshing to see our streets without pedestrians,” said Agatha Vanderpool. “It really highlights how beautiful our city could be with just more traffic.”
Cars, trucks, and vans of all types are welcome to join the festivities. There will be a bouncy house for vintage 1970 Lincolns and a “gastration station” for younger models. Attendees will also be able to participate in games designed for cars, such as the family favorite, “Run the Red, Hit the Ped.” Winners of this competition will receive a complimentary boot for their tires.
“I’m so excited I can hardly contain myself,” said Percival Santorini. “Walking to work every day is something I’ve grown accustomed to, but this event reminds us how nice it could be if there were just more traffic. It’d truly be a breath of fresh air.”
The event comes at a pivotal time, as studies continue to show that the average length of time required to drive to the hospital has increased due to pedestrian congestion.
“It’s important that we keep bringing these issues to the forefront,” said Octavia Meriwether. “The more pedestrians we have grabbing dinner, going to the doctor, or walking their children to school, the longer it will take us to drive around the block to find a parking spot.”
Regardless of differing opinions, the event is moving full speed ahead in its planning stages and is currently seeking volunteers.
“We’re so excited to see how the event unfolds,” said planner Thaddeus Grimshaw. “If the turnout meets our expectations, we could achieve gridlock!”
